Works in Progress

My beloved sister Jeanna is having a baby.  I cannot contain my excitement (even though I thought we were going to do this together, but I digress...).  Jeanna and her husband, Josh, have been married 6 years as of July 15th, and they felt as of they were ready now for their first child.  Jeanna is probably the most together person I know, and if she feels that this is the time to bring a child into this world, I know it is only through careful consideration and extensive meditation that she came to this decision.  And being the selfish soul I am, this process has caused me to enter into reflection (because it all relates to me, damn it). 
Patrick and I have been very blessed so far in our first year of marriage.  We have good health, a wonderful home, and a relationship that surprises me everyday with its strength.  But in our lives there is much room for improvement before we can consider taking that next step to making our family more complete.  I know that my particular area of personal growth must come in being more organized.  I like to think that all the things I have on my plate allow me to be scatter-brained to a degree.  Between my work, my desire to become a better equine dentist (and hopefully becoming a fellow of the American College of Veterinary Dentistry), my work with my own animals (I worry I've neglected Bishop), my crafts and the updating of my house and keeping ahead of my housework, all while trying to be a good wife and meet my husband's needs, leaves me feeling overwhelmed sometimes.  But this is the life I've chosen, but at this point if I fail at anyone of these portions of my life, I've only let myself down, or at most Patrick (who is incredibly forgiving of any shortfalls).  But to add a child to the mix, that is a whole other person to be responsible for. 
So, in short, am I ready for a child the way my younger sister is?  No, but I'm close.  So down with my scatter-brained days, I hope you get fewer and far between.  

In other news, KNITTING!  This is a set of pants for baby Leeland.

Addendum

In other news, it's exactly eight months until my wedding.

If I got pregnant now, I wouldn't have a bastard child...hmm.

Second - Be Quiet

The birth of a foal is a wonderful sight to behold. Due to her fear of predators, the wild mare finds a quiet spot and lays down to have her foal.  The whole process is over in 10-15 minutes and the foal is up and nursing within the hour, ready at the mare's side to take off if danger approaches.  So due to this rapid birth, one could see where things could go horribly wrong, how a mare could quickly loose her foal that she and her owners have invested the last 11 months in.

This is where I come in, the lone, young veterinarian, sitting at a farm, waiting for my phone to ring and the recording, "The foal is being born", to play, signaling me to run to the stall to assist the mare in whatever way I can.  This whole process doesn't work however, if the mare is too anxious to eat, drink or stand still.  This is the mare's way of crossing her legs and telling the baby to "Wait, wait!  Don't come out, I'm not comfortable yet!"  While this has never delayed the process for very long, anyone who's ever been in my position knows that she will make us all wait until she is ready.

Not "Rain", but a good representation.

So this leaves me on a rainy Saturday morning, trying to find the perfect combination of this mare, Rain, we shall call her.  Rain arrived sharply at 2:00PM on an overcast Friday afternoon.  After placing the foal alert, Rain was given her dinner, which she ate well and then promptly began her walking, round and round in her stall, screaming for another horse.  Trying to ease her anxiety, I put her outside to stretch her legs and work out some of her nerves.  She had other plans, which consisted of more screaming and pacing at the fence line. Able to see other horses did not seem to change her disposition.  Knowing that introducing strange horses can be a disaster, I placed her back in her stall for the evening and went to bed.

The rain started sometime during the night, which left the ground spongy and ready to be turned into mud with the right persuasion.  I attempted to feed Rain, but she would have none of the grain or hay that I lay out for her.  Knowing that I had other chores to do, I placed her outside with her grain and started cleaning the stall.  Again, Rain refused this middle ground and paced and cried, completely ignoring her feed.

I had had enough.  Something had to change, she was too excited to be able to focus on the natural process that will be completed in the next several days.  I had to find a baby sitter.  And this is where my angel comes in.

My angel is a soon to be two year old Paint gelding named Bishop, and he is my pony.  I bought him from the vet school, because I knew his personality would be wonderful.  He's never completely disappointed me yet.  He's taken on every new situation with some apprehension but with an open mind to allow for him to adapt in a way that only a true bombproof horse can.  And as I reiterate, he's not even two yet, still a baby himself.

Thinking that Rain would be satisfied with a horse in just over the fence, I walked Bishop up to her, holding his lead tightly as they touched noses.  Rain commenced to squealing and throwing her head, being "mare-ish".  Bishop, however, remained a perfect gentleman, but quietly looking at me with a wide eye, asking what to do next.  I walked him away and gave him a treat for being a good pony and attempted it again.  Rain still, would have none of it.

Frustrated doesn't completely describe my feelings, I was defeated.  Unsure of what to do next, I brought Bishop inside and placed him in the stall next to Rain, knowing this was the last card I had.  Bishop has spent almost his whole life outside, so being in a stall can sometimes be a little unsettling for him.  But I had to try it.  I brought Rain in and to my dismay, she started to circle again.  Exhaling, I ran my hands through my damp hair, unsure of what to do next.  But then Rain stopped.  She perked her ears and listened.  There was someone next to her.  She stuck her nose to the wall and sniffed several times.  You could see the anxiety leave her as her eyes softened.  She nickered at the horse next door, not realizing this was the same horse she had rejected across a fence.  Bishop nickered back, and Rain relaxed again.  She placed her head down and grabbed a mouthful of hay and started to chew.

Bishop may not completely comprehend what he accomplished for me.  And I don't know if the alfalfa/corn treat I gave him makes up for the time he'll be spending in the stall, but hopefully the little pony take all of this in quietly, and accept his new role as baby sitter.

First - Be Lovable

So, here I am starting my grown-up blog.  I've found myself starting up new blogs every couple of years or so, but this time feels different.  I'm inspired by new friend's resolution, inspired by the new year, feeling like I could have something to share with the world besides what is at my surface.

2011 is going to be my year, one way or another.  This is the year I get married.  This is the year I get the home I've been searching for.  This is the year I make something of myself.  I'm no longer able to claim my occupation as a 'Student'.  This is my year to prove to myself that I am a grown up, that beyond the classroom, I have a place to shine.  This is the year to show that my aspirations go farther than to become a veterinarian, that goal has been achieved and it's time to set new ones.

So here's to the new year, 10 days in...